You can go where you belong. Behind me. Anyone I let go of can stay there too. Some decisions were mine, others were made for me. Either way, things in life happen for a reason and I intend to learn from life's lesson's rather than turn a blind eye again. This year was difficult for many reasons, ones that are still painfully present in my mind yet I am optimistic that 2011 is MY year to be ME. My year that I will step up, step out and move on to a bigger, better and brighter future.
So Peace Out 2010. I have no more need for you.
-Rachel
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Years Resolution
I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Girl's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know
I'm Starting With The Girl In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Her To Change
Her Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)
I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)
I'm Starting With The Girl In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Her To Change
Her Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
I'm Starting With The Girl In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Her To Change Her
Ways
(Change Her Ways)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!
I'm Starting With The Girl In
The Mirror,
(Girl In The Mirror!)
I'm Asking Her To Change
Her Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Girl, That Girl, That
Girl, That Girl
With That Girl In The Mirror
(Girl In The Mirror)
That Girl, That Girl, That Girl
I'm Asking Her To Change
Her Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Girl
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
(Girl In The Mirror)
Make That Change.
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Girl's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know
I'm Starting With The Girl In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Her To Change
Her Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)
I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)
I'm Starting With The Girl In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Her To Change
Her Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
I'm Starting With The Girl In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Her To Change Her
Ways
(Change Her Ways)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!
I'm Starting With The Girl In
The Mirror,
(Girl In The Mirror!)
I'm Asking Her To Change
Her Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Girl, That Girl, That
Girl, That Girl
With That Girl In The Mirror
(Girl In The Mirror)
That Girl, That Girl, That Girl
I'm Asking Her To Change
Her Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Girl
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
(Girl In The Mirror)
Make That Change.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Tainted Love
Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me.
the love we share seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light for I toss and turn -
I can't sleep at night.
Once I ran to you
now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given -
I give you all a girl could give you.
Take my tears and that's not living - oh
tainted love - tainted love.
Now I know I've got to run away
I've got to get away.
You don't really want it any more from me -
To make things right I need someone to hold me tight
And you'll think love is to pray but I'm sorry I don't pray that way
Once I ran to you
now I'll run from you
Don't touch me please - I cannot stand the way you tease.
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm gonna pack my things and go.
Tainted love.
I've got to get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me.
the love we share seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light for I toss and turn -
I can't sleep at night.
Once I ran to you
now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given -
I give you all a girl could give you.
Take my tears and that's not living - oh
tainted love - tainted love.
Now I know I've got to run away
I've got to get away.
You don't really want it any more from me -
To make things right I need someone to hold me tight
And you'll think love is to pray but I'm sorry I don't pray that way
Once I ran to you
now I'll run from you
Don't touch me please - I cannot stand the way you tease.
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm gonna pack my things and go.
Tainted love.
My Little Sister; a Guest Bloggers Story.
Guest Blogger; Ruth from "let's be splendid about this..." shares some of her experiences with us!
So, I have a younger sister, she's 16 now. I'm the first to admit we argue and fight as much as any other pair of siblings. I'm not proud of it and whenever we argue, I feel horribly guilty afterwards. But she is my little sister, and as such, I love her, whether we are racing each other in the pool, playing the PlayStation's or watching The Simpsons; her favorite show. I am protective of her.
Now, she is mildly autistic. She finds it difficult to adjust to new routines, she doesn't like loud noises, she gets easily freaked out and socially, she finds it difficult to fit in. However, she is able to go to a mainstream school. This mean's she faces mainstream problems- like bullying for example. It'd be difficult to find someone who hasn't been subjected to it. But my sister is not able to defend herself, like most kids. She doesn't understand but she knows she is being made fun of. I couldn't protect her; I was in a different school. She went to one with better integration facilities. But the amount of times she came home in tears, because of some stupid little bitch or group of dickhead boys had been teasing her made me want to march myself right up to them and yell until I was hoarse.
It probably wouldn't do much good. For all I know, they would laugh at me and make fun of her more. My solution to dealing with little shits like that is to simply walk away. I have never felt the urge to bully someone or make his or her life miserable like that. And to pick on someone who is more vulnerable that most, is the most cowardly act I can think of.
One time, I had to pick my sister up from school and bring her home on the train (she won't go by herself, she is unsure of public transport). So I did and as we were sitting there, a group of boys walked past from her school. She stiffened. They pointed and laughed, knowing that this is all it would take to stir her. I felt like saying "You think you're so funny! I'd like to see where you are in five years time; sniffing paint and on the dole I bet!" Or something along those lines. Even just to say "Fuck off!" would have been bliss. Not a very witty retort, is it? That's why I sat down again. All I could do intone to my sister was "Ignore them, they're not worth it." And she looked at me and said "I know, I just ignore them now".
This year has been much better. She talks about her friends she sits with at lunch, and there have been much less teary days. She's a lot stronger than some people think. But what makes me sad is that people like these boys will always exist. And not everyone is as strong as my sister.
-Ruth-
I want to thank you, Ruth, for sharing your sisters story. I am well aware of the affects of autism and know how difficult it can be on the child and their life. And children like those you describe in your post come from home where I wish I could beat the living shit out of the parents. Because, let's face it, it all starts at home. You are right; little shits like that will always exist and I am so glad to hear that your sister has the ability to rise above them, know it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with their own self esteem (or lack of it). And it also saddens me to know that there aren't other suffering as she or the effects of bullying that cannot see past the assholes the bullies are. It's one of my biggest peeves. My son is five and already suffering the effects of being bullied. They start younger every year. And while a good "FUCK YOU!" might feel good, it does nothing but make matters worse. So kudos to you, your sister, your family. You have grace, class and poise that will win this battle.
So, I have a younger sister, she's 16 now. I'm the first to admit we argue and fight as much as any other pair of siblings. I'm not proud of it and whenever we argue, I feel horribly guilty afterwards. But she is my little sister, and as such, I love her, whether we are racing each other in the pool, playing the PlayStation's or watching The Simpsons; her favorite show. I am protective of her.
Now, she is mildly autistic. She finds it difficult to adjust to new routines, she doesn't like loud noises, she gets easily freaked out and socially, she finds it difficult to fit in. However, she is able to go to a mainstream school. This mean's she faces mainstream problems- like bullying for example. It'd be difficult to find someone who hasn't been subjected to it. But my sister is not able to defend herself, like most kids. She doesn't understand but she knows she is being made fun of. I couldn't protect her; I was in a different school. She went to one with better integration facilities. But the amount of times she came home in tears, because of some stupid little bitch or group of dickhead boys had been teasing her made me want to march myself right up to them and yell until I was hoarse.
It probably wouldn't do much good. For all I know, they would laugh at me and make fun of her more. My solution to dealing with little shits like that is to simply walk away. I have never felt the urge to bully someone or make his or her life miserable like that. And to pick on someone who is more vulnerable that most, is the most cowardly act I can think of.
One time, I had to pick my sister up from school and bring her home on the train (she won't go by herself, she is unsure of public transport). So I did and as we were sitting there, a group of boys walked past from her school. She stiffened. They pointed and laughed, knowing that this is all it would take to stir her. I felt like saying "You think you're so funny! I'd like to see where you are in five years time; sniffing paint and on the dole I bet!" Or something along those lines. Even just to say "Fuck off!" would have been bliss. Not a very witty retort, is it? That's why I sat down again. All I could do intone to my sister was "Ignore them, they're not worth it." And she looked at me and said "I know, I just ignore them now".
This year has been much better. She talks about her friends she sits with at lunch, and there have been much less teary days. She's a lot stronger than some people think. But what makes me sad is that people like these boys will always exist. And not everyone is as strong as my sister.
-Ruth-
I want to thank you, Ruth, for sharing your sisters story. I am well aware of the affects of autism and know how difficult it can be on the child and their life. And children like those you describe in your post come from home where I wish I could beat the living shit out of the parents. Because, let's face it, it all starts at home. You are right; little shits like that will always exist and I am so glad to hear that your sister has the ability to rise above them, know it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with their own self esteem (or lack of it). And it also saddens me to know that there aren't other suffering as she or the effects of bullying that cannot see past the assholes the bullies are. It's one of my biggest peeves. My son is five and already suffering the effects of being bullied. They start younger every year. And while a good "FUCK YOU!" might feel good, it does nothing but make matters worse. So kudos to you, your sister, your family. You have grace, class and poise that will win this battle.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Some People Know Not What They Do...
Or they do and they just don't give a fuck... I happen to know some people of the latter... sucks, doesn't it?
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Excuse Me, Bitch
How many of you have been out this Holiday Season shopping for someone special? I am willing to bet that 90% of my readers are doing the crazy last minuet shopping experience. And I am guilty as sin, yes Ma'am, I am. I can't usually wait to give a gift so I prevent myself from going shopping until the very last second. But this yields the ugly truth of the season. Fuck all the "Merry Christmas'", "Happy Holidays" "Happy Hanukkah" or whatever, it is every Bitch for themselves out there! The men are so pissed off they're being dragged out AGAIN with the woman for MORE shopping (like she has MORE TO DO) and the woman? Well they just run you the fuck over like you don't even take up space or occupy it. The best are the ones who pretend they don't know where the LINE begins and jumps all the way in front of the already pissed off and irritated crowd, and then it ends in one of two ways. The person next in line flips the fuck out or the cashier has to tell the person to go to the back of the line. Either one ends badly with someone using the "F" word more than once and irritating the line of people even more.
Case in point on subject #1; I'm walking out of the sports store after waiting in line for a half hour to by ONE jersey, and as I am walking out, this big fat ass of a woman just slams into me, knocking me into the glass doorway and keeps walking. There is NO WAY she didn't know she did that; I'm so sorry your fat ass can't fit through a double doorway, but holy shit, do you HAVE to knock the little people down on your way in? Dude, I fuckin' lost it. She had been person #3 on my slap list and once I hit #3, I've hit tilt. I turned and yelled at her "Merry Christmas Bitch, don't forget to say 'Excuse me' next time your fat ass decides to knock someone into a wall".
Yes people. I did say that. I was pissed. And, as a previous post stated; it is the MOST FUCKED UP time of year. Screw that, no more nice me. Thank GOODNESS I am finished with my shopping as of today. I can't take these mall rats any longer.
The next case in point was in the same store as I was waiting in line. The line pillar said "Line starts here" and there were about 20 people in line, I was second. Another woman, older I have to admit, standing behind some
one at check out, I just KNEW was trying to get her way in and out without anyone in line noticing. Unlike my previous weekly post where I had to shout at the woman that there was a line, the clerk actually told her she needed to get to the back of the line. "oh, there's a line?" she said, like she didn't know. Laughably, the person in front of me says "oh com'on now stupid. You don't think for one second we believe you didn't know that. It's Christmas for CHRISTS sake! Get to the back of the line and wait your turn". If I could have hugged that woman, I would have but who knows if she would have pulled a gun on me or what; you never know these days. Still, cussing and moaning the entire way to the back of the line, the rest of us were just smirking at her like "looser, get serious".
Victory!!!!!
Case in point on subject #1; I'm walking out of the sports store after waiting in line for a half hour to by ONE jersey, and as I am walking out, this big fat ass of a woman just slams into me, knocking me into the glass doorway and keeps walking. There is NO WAY she didn't know she did that; I'm so sorry your fat ass can't fit through a double doorway, but holy shit, do you HAVE to knock the little people down on your way in? Dude, I fuckin' lost it. She had been person #3 on my slap list and once I hit #3, I've hit tilt. I turned and yelled at her "Merry Christmas Bitch, don't forget to say 'Excuse me' next time your fat ass decides to knock someone into a wall".
Yes people. I did say that. I was pissed. And, as a previous post stated; it is the MOST FUCKED UP time of year. Screw that, no more nice me. Thank GOODNESS I am finished with my shopping as of today. I can't take these mall rats any longer.
The next case in point was in the same store as I was waiting in line. The line pillar said "Line starts here" and there were about 20 people in line, I was second. Another woman, older I have to admit, standing behind some
one at check out, I just KNEW was trying to get her way in and out without anyone in line noticing. Unlike my previous weekly post where I had to shout at the woman that there was a line, the clerk actually told her she needed to get to the back of the line. "oh, there's a line?" she said, like she didn't know. Laughably, the person in front of me says "oh com'on now stupid. You don't think for one second we believe you didn't know that. It's Christmas for CHRISTS sake! Get to the back of the line and wait your turn". If I could have hugged that woman, I would have but who knows if she would have pulled a gun on me or what; you never know these days. Still, cussing and moaning the entire way to the back of the line, the rest of us were just smirking at her like "looser, get serious".Victory!!!!!
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