I follow this guy on twitter and he fuckin' cracks me up! While running down his page today, I found this tweet very informational and appropriate for my situation!!
"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
Sweet.
Monday, January 10, 2011
200 Lies a Day
It's no secret that we all lie. Daily. Most of the time, we don't even know we're doing it. A little white lie here, an embellishment there... who is it going to hurt, right? Well, to someone who has been lied to her whole life, her very existence one big fat lie; even the smallest lie can turn into something that is astronomical. It's like a snowball effect. One person tells a lie to another. Why? Well, lets say they have a personal grudge or jealousy toward them. Trying to get another to see it their way, a little lie won't hurt right? Wrong. This lie then gets tossed around, whispered down the lane and years later, ends up being something that is so blown out of proportion the person the lie is about (say ME, for example) never had a prayer to defend, stand up or set things right, let alone confront the jealous party and ask "why?" Any attempts from that point forward to mend fences, show the person that forgiveness is within reach is held in vain. Even the kindest written letter can be turned from that to a manipulative tactic because that is how it is desired to be seen. So you can't even reach out and try to create bridges when there is already fire underneath and motions in place to destroy it before it started. Children then become involved; used as weapons and puppets to hurt and scorn. THIS is where I draw the line. And others I have come to know as well, in my same situation, have drawn it too. Do what you want to me; say what you want. Hurt me, kick me, lie about me, spread your rumors and make up your dreams of what you think I am but never EVER use MY CHILD as a reason to hurt me. Or use your OWN for that matter. Anyone that will use their own child as a weapon is far too gone for help. Professional grade help is needed and those children will grow up just as hurt and confused about their parents more than anyone else. Children deserve the TRUTH. Not some fabricated, jealous lie that has someone so engulfed in themselves that they can't see what could happen down the road. You say terrible things about a child to their mother, you hold a young child accountable for problems that only the adults have created and expect others to not think you are absolutely out of your mind?
Be aware you are being lied to; at work, at home, at school. By your friends, your family, your co-workers or a total stranger. If you are told 200 Lies a day, what about life is honest?
Be aware you are being lied to; at work, at home, at school. By your friends, your family, your co-workers or a total stranger. If you are told 200 Lies a day, what about life is honest?
FAKE
This place has begun to cover me
I recall the light, but the dark smothers me
I prefer the feelings I know right now
I don't worry about feeling very proud
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
But I'm bleeding, and my hands are bruised
From the grip that I once had on you
And I'm open for a new way
Because there's not much more that I can fake
It's almost seeing your soul for the first time
And watching the mirror show you life in rewind
Capture the ridicule of everyone
I'm tired of trying, and they wonder why I'm gone
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
But I'm bleeding, and my hands are bruised
From the grip that I once had on you
And I'm open for a new way
Because there's not much more that I can fake
I can't fake it
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
But I'm bleeding, and my hands are bruised
From the grip that I once had on you
And I'm open for a new way
Because there's not much more that I can fake
But I'm bleeding, and my hands are bruised
From the grip that I once had on you
And I'm open for a new way
Because there's not much more that I can fake
I recall the light, but the dark smothers me
I prefer the feelings I know right now
I don't worry about feeling very proud
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
But I'm bleeding, and my hands are bruised
From the grip that I once had on you
And I'm open for a new way
Because there's not much more that I can fake
It's almost seeing your soul for the first time
And watching the mirror show you life in rewind
Capture the ridicule of everyone
I'm tired of trying, and they wonder why I'm gone
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
But I'm bleeding, and my hands are bruised
From the grip that I once had on you
And I'm open for a new way
Because there's not much more that I can fake
I can't fake it
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
You don't know how it feels
To be misunderstood
To reach for the sky
I thought you never would
But I'm bleeding, and my hands are bruised
From the grip that I once had on you
And I'm open for a new way
Because there's not much more that I can fake
But I'm bleeding, and my hands are bruised
From the grip that I once had on you
And I'm open for a new way
Because there's not much more that I can fake
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Webs Spun Begun
Don't you hate people who can turn the nicest, most innocent gesture into something it really isn't? It's call "Spinning" and I know a few people who can spin a web so terrible it'll captivate and catch some of the smartest people I know. In fact, it's caught some of my loved ones and torn them away from me as a result of the web of lies. It's disgusting to me how a simple photograph can turn into a complete argument. And we're talking a photograph not unlike two puppies sleeping together in a basket. No harm done right? WRONG! With these "twisted sisters", you can rest assured anything you do in good faith and out of love will be turned into a dramatic, unbelievable piece of manipulative tactic that is dreamt up and then drilled into the web for everyone to feed on.
It's a sad thing when someone can't think for themselves. Or that they are so fearful of their own feelings and actions they let others control them. What ever happened to standing up for what is really right? Allowing someone to be treated like a piece of shit for so long, standing by and doing nothing yet when it is time for someone to take a stance, you go with the group and have no opinion or voice of your own. You're a puppet of the web spinners. The words coming out of your mouth are not even your own! It's robotic and practiced as if they stood in front of mirrors rehearsing like they were lines on a script. Well, life is unpredictable and not everybody is evil, terrible, hurtful and vain. I happen to be, despite my rantings on here, a kind, caring, loving person who always wanted to be accepted into her family. But my family had other plans for me and, behind my back, conspired to ruin me, my confidence and made sure that when they were finished, I would have next to no one.
For what reason? This I am still trying to figure out. I've thrown birthday parties, baby showers, put vacations on hold so that everyone could be included yet I was always left out. So I ask you; someone who is innocent should not have to be subject to such cruelty, right? Then why do the innocent suffer in webs spun of lies and brainwashing?
It's a sad thing when someone can't think for themselves. Or that they are so fearful of their own feelings and actions they let others control them. What ever happened to standing up for what is really right? Allowing someone to be treated like a piece of shit for so long, standing by and doing nothing yet when it is time for someone to take a stance, you go with the group and have no opinion or voice of your own. You're a puppet of the web spinners. The words coming out of your mouth are not even your own! It's robotic and practiced as if they stood in front of mirrors rehearsing like they were lines on a script. Well, life is unpredictable and not everybody is evil, terrible, hurtful and vain. I happen to be, despite my rantings on here, a kind, caring, loving person who always wanted to be accepted into her family. But my family had other plans for me and, behind my back, conspired to ruin me, my confidence and made sure that when they were finished, I would have next to no one.
For what reason? This I am still trying to figure out. I've thrown birthday parties, baby showers, put vacations on hold so that everyone could be included yet I was always left out. So I ask you; someone who is innocent should not have to be subject to such cruelty, right? Then why do the innocent suffer in webs spun of lies and brainwashing?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Searching for Coupons
You're waiting in line. You've been in line for, what feels like, a half an hour. You FINALLY get to be second in line and the anal retentive person in front of you is the only thing standing between you, the register and getting the hell out of the store. The cashier tells "her" the total amount due... then, she pulls out her gigantic, over-filled, under-organized bag and starts to rummage through it. "I have a coupon for that in here somewhere.... I just need to find it".... the second I hear that, my blood pressure rises. I know that it is going to take her every moment of every second I need to get the hell outta there to find this blasted coupon, that is worth, what? .50 cents off the product? I get it, and love it, when someone is organized with their coupons when they can walk into a store, have them all ready and push their bill from $100 to $25 in .03 seconds! But when you have someone who is unorganized and just plain irritating, rummaging through their gigantic bag of a purse, looking for a coupon they most likely left at HOME, it makes me want to stick a fork in my eye. This action is completely disrespectful of those that stand in line behind you. They've been waiting just as long and deserve every opportunity to get the fuck out of the store as much as anyone else! So excuse me if I start tapping my toes, sighing obnoxiously loudly enough for the woman at the register to hear or coughing to let her know there ARE other people around who need to get moving.
And where the hell are the other cashiers when this happens? When a line starts going from the front of the store and wraps around three times, all due to someone who is hell bent of finding a piece of paper with numbers on it, why doesn't the manager/supervisor on duty call someone up to help relieve the pressure? When I can clearly see stupid little teenage workers just standing around, doing nothing! Punch in your code in the stupid register and get to work damnit!
And still... she's looking through her bag for her fucking coupons....
And where the hell are the other cashiers when this happens? When a line starts going from the front of the store and wraps around three times, all due to someone who is hell bent of finding a piece of paper with numbers on it, why doesn't the manager/supervisor on duty call someone up to help relieve the pressure? When I can clearly see stupid little teenage workers just standing around, doing nothing! Punch in your code in the stupid register and get to work damnit!
And still... she's looking through her bag for her fucking coupons....
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Happy New Year My Ass
Why is it that when you try to get away from Drama, it follows you? Well, my friends, it is just as simple as the people you know. Surround yourself with Drama Queens and drama will follow.
It's no secret now that my husband and I have decided to separate. It's a separation, not a divorce. I see the possibility of a reconciliation in the future if we use this time wisely, but what ticks me off is that his absentee mother, who hasn't been apart of his life since he was 7 years old (emotionally) all of a sudden has an opinion and had to put my name into her mouth. First off, take my name and spit it out. I am of no concern to you. Nor do you have any right to swoop in now and use this time as your way back "in". I have cautioned my husband to her manipulative ways, how she has told him terrible things in the past and does nothing but degrade him. He, for one, of all these years, NEVER wanted anything to do with her. Take me out of the picture and BAM! She's back! Seems like I was the only one holding him together emotionally because now, his Mommy dearest is trying to "rescue him" from the big bad Rachel that left. Filling his head with doubts about my character, saying things like "she gets up and leaves you when things get rough... what do you think she'll do if you get back together and things get tough again?". Um- EXCUSE ME Bitch, but who the hell told you I just up and left without careful consideration or MAJOR thoughts about it? One does not simply stand up one day, in a happy marriage, and leaves for the hell of it. Ok, maybe some bitches do but not this one. I gave YEARS of my life trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, how I could change things to make things work... it took a year to figure out I wanted to leave and then ANOTHER to muster up enough guts to actually DO IT. So please don't go telling people, who ever will listen to your manic ass, that I just got up and left your baby boy because we got into a fight and I ran. No honey, things are a little more different and if you had been a better part of his life; more loving and caring than the money hungry whore you are, maybe he would have had a fighting chance IN a relationship.
She connects love with money. So when my husbands father died at age 10, she made SURE she married "up" and "wealthy" no matter the cost. The cost was? Well, anything my husband did was never good enough to catch her support or attention. He could be an alter boy, an eagle scout and perfect student and she never saw in him the gem that he is. But her new husbands kids could steal, cheat, lie, wreck the house, have parties, steal family jewels and THEY were showered with love and affection, even to this DAY!
I am not the only one who knows this about her. All of my husbands friends have received ill treatment from her because either they're "different" (please, define that for me), black or "crazy"... no I think she needs to take a good look at herself and figure out who the crazy one is. Grant it, my husband did know a few nut jobs out there, but who doesn't run into them once or twice in a lifetime? I know I have had my share! Still, after talking with some mutual friends about my new dilemma, they all are pretty conclusive and said "yeah, this was bound to happen. Now she can come in and be the lady in his life".... according to my husband, he wants me to be that lady... yet now she is using every manipulative tactic under her power to reel him into her and away from me. Which is fine. If he is not strong enough to be an adult and say "thanks mom for your concern, but Rachel and I are going to figure this out on our own" then he's not the one for me anyway and off I go.
I thought this New 2011 would bring me some sort of peace after the hell I'd just gone through with liars and other manipulators but it seems I still have quite a way ahead of me to rid myself of all these dysfunctional people in my life. I have to. My son is too precious not to do it.
It's no secret now that my husband and I have decided to separate. It's a separation, not a divorce. I see the possibility of a reconciliation in the future if we use this time wisely, but what ticks me off is that his absentee mother, who hasn't been apart of his life since he was 7 years old (emotionally) all of a sudden has an opinion and had to put my name into her mouth. First off, take my name and spit it out. I am of no concern to you. Nor do you have any right to swoop in now and use this time as your way back "in". I have cautioned my husband to her manipulative ways, how she has told him terrible things in the past and does nothing but degrade him. He, for one, of all these years, NEVER wanted anything to do with her. Take me out of the picture and BAM! She's back! Seems like I was the only one holding him together emotionally because now, his Mommy dearest is trying to "rescue him" from the big bad Rachel that left. Filling his head with doubts about my character, saying things like "she gets up and leaves you when things get rough... what do you think she'll do if you get back together and things get tough again?". Um- EXCUSE ME Bitch, but who the hell told you I just up and left without careful consideration or MAJOR thoughts about it? One does not simply stand up one day, in a happy marriage, and leaves for the hell of it. Ok, maybe some bitches do but not this one. I gave YEARS of my life trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, how I could change things to make things work... it took a year to figure out I wanted to leave and then ANOTHER to muster up enough guts to actually DO IT. So please don't go telling people, who ever will listen to your manic ass, that I just got up and left your baby boy because we got into a fight and I ran. No honey, things are a little more different and if you had been a better part of his life; more loving and caring than the money hungry whore you are, maybe he would have had a fighting chance IN a relationship.
She connects love with money. So when my husbands father died at age 10, she made SURE she married "up" and "wealthy" no matter the cost. The cost was? Well, anything my husband did was never good enough to catch her support or attention. He could be an alter boy, an eagle scout and perfect student and she never saw in him the gem that he is. But her new husbands kids could steal, cheat, lie, wreck the house, have parties, steal family jewels and THEY were showered with love and affection, even to this DAY!
I am not the only one who knows this about her. All of my husbands friends have received ill treatment from her because either they're "different" (please, define that for me), black or "crazy"... no I think she needs to take a good look at herself and figure out who the crazy one is. Grant it, my husband did know a few nut jobs out there, but who doesn't run into them once or twice in a lifetime? I know I have had my share! Still, after talking with some mutual friends about my new dilemma, they all are pretty conclusive and said "yeah, this was bound to happen. Now she can come in and be the lady in his life".... according to my husband, he wants me to be that lady... yet now she is using every manipulative tactic under her power to reel him into her and away from me. Which is fine. If he is not strong enough to be an adult and say "thanks mom for your concern, but Rachel and I are going to figure this out on our own" then he's not the one for me anyway and off I go.
I thought this New 2011 would bring me some sort of peace after the hell I'd just gone through with liars and other manipulators but it seems I still have quite a way ahead of me to rid myself of all these dysfunctional people in my life. I have to. My son is too precious not to do it.
A perfectly good tanning session ruined by....
VALLEY GIRLS!
Who on this green earth actually can STAND to listen to a valley girl talk? I just don't understand why they don't get punched in the face every time they open their mouths. Who really likes to talk that way? "Like, she said, and then I said, and he was like 'woah, oh my God, that's crazy! Totally!"
I was going in for my regular tanning session, since the winter is here and you can't hit the beaches too much in colder weather as much as I'd like (I like it to be 90 degree's for the beach). I have the great package, the extra awesome bed, with green leaves and bamboo in the room. Awesome. Relaxing and best 15 minuets you'll ever spend. That is... until Valley girl "Sue" comes into the place and starts talking to one of the girls at the counter about her, soon to be, New Years Eve night out and how she's "totally" going to "beat this bitch up" if she even so much as tries to talk to her. The entire time I was trying to relax, do a little breathing and enjoy my 15 minuets of self pampering, this bitch was talking non-stop about 'like this girl and like that girl and how like, she was like, totally gonna get beat down if she shows up at the bar'. I could have murdered someone. Imagine, being powerless, stuck in a tanning bed, having to listen to this stupid, airhead of a bitch go on and on about the most immature things and you just want to yell out "SHUT THE FUCK UP! This is MY TIME Bizotch!".
So I get out of my bed, get ready to go and she's STILL gabbing away about 
this girl she absolutely hates... I'm thinking "shit, I bet the feeling is mutual.. I hate you already!" As I walk up towards to counter to exit, I simply looked at the girl and said "It would be more courteous of you if you kept your voice down while others were trying to tan. That was the most annoying 15 minuets of my life. Thanks for ruining it."
this girl she absolutely hates... I'm thinking "shit, I bet the feeling is mutual.. I hate you already!" As I walk up towards to counter to exit, I simply looked at the girl and said "It would be more courteous of you if you kept your voice down while others were trying to tan. That was the most annoying 15 minuets of my life. Thanks for ruining it." She just looked at me. You know, like a deer looks into headlights. The woman she'd been talking to got all flushed in the face and tried not to laugh (because the entire time, she's been quietly trying to get her to STFU). I went to walk out, but then stopped. I turned. "Which bar are you going to tonight?"
She told me.
"Thanks," I said "I will make sure NOT to go there. Peace out".
Sssssshhhhhhaaaaaaahhhh!
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