Bitch-Off!

You know what I love to do? Watch me some trash TV! You ever have a day where you just feel like, "Damn, I been workin' my ass off for months, with nobody taking notice to how freaking hard I work, I'm taking the day off"? I do. I did. And I called out. And I spent my day lazing on the couch, watching me some trash TV. I'm taking Jerry Springer and Maury back-to-back! I love these chicks that get their butts on Maury and they're 1000% sure he is the father and then BAM! "You are NOT the father"! Better yet, he's the 5th man tested! I LOVE IT! How else do you make yourself feel better about your shit life but by taking pleasure in the stupid sluts that make damn ass fools of themselves on national TV, run off the stage after spending the last 15 minutes screaming at this guy that he IS the father and he ends up not being the dad! It is TV at its finest. Forget the heartfelt love Oprah shows her quests, Dr. Phil's house of pain, it's Maury and Jerry that bring out the best our country has to offer. Gotta love me some Maury. He's all sympathetic to these sluts, telling them "we'll get you help. We'll help you find the father". Or how about when he introduces his guests "Everybody, this is *insert ridiculous name here*. This is her tenth time on the show"... Its fucking hysterical! You test 10 men to find out the father of ONE baby! Gotta love Maury for his open heart to these women. And the audience! Oh the audience. They booooooo their asses off when the man comes out, before any results are read and then... "NOT THE FATHER". FABULOUS! Forget watching the "Price is Right" during my sick days, this tops all. So when you're in a slump, calling off of work, feeling unappreciated and down in the dumps, there is always some Maury or Jerry you can watch that will help pick your spirits up and make you feel ten times better than when you began your day! Happy Trashy TV!!