The 1.5 year Experiment

Hello Bitches! And welcome back! Looks who is back for more fun in the bitchin' sun! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Rachel Mae is back and with a vengeance.  You see, I thought I would try a little experiment of my own.  Go away for a while, let life take its course, get through the dilemmas I faced with family destruction and the demise of my marriage and see where I end up a year or so in the future.  Am I just as observant to the blatantly obvious of the ignorance of people or did I soften a bit?


Well, my friends, I have to say that not only did flipping the bird to numerous family members and my husband make me horribly more aware that the world is filled with more assholes that I would like to have thought, but it has also made me a bright, strong and intelligent woman who knows what battles to choose and which ones to turn my back from.  So many people have come and gone, showed me their true colors.  And what's more, the fact that I sit before this monitor now is a true testament to the fact that some people can truly change while others may be stuck in their spiral downwards forever, never yielding to the possibility that they may be wrong and that someone may actually prove to be right. 

My divorce went fairly slow.  Way too slow if you ask me.  If I had my way, the moment I left, it would have been easier for me to get it done with than having to go through the legal system of waiting, waiting and more waiting.  Because it takes so friggin' long for a divorce to be final, it opens up a world of opportunity for denial to sneak in and grab you.  I never faltered, but denial is ever so present in my absent minded previous "bitter half" that still with the finality of it all, continues to pursue as if trying to salvage the relationship.  But when confronted with the obvious question, he shrinks into a corner and can never man up to the fact that he let the best thing that could have ever happened to him, walk out of his life and never return again.  Nights with numerous woman, a somewhat falsehood of a relationship where pressure bore too much for him and he ran from her as well, only to turn to me, who have always been there.  The one who put up with his bullshit for years upon years only to now turn to him and say "oh my gosh, that's a shame.  I am so sorry you are going through that".  Not your typical "what can I do to rescue you" mentality that I used to have. 

No you see, I left my other job in marketing where my work went unappreciated and unnoticed, my idea's stolen and given credit to the creature of yellow hair, and ended up in a job where I am am loving every second of every moment I am there.  Why? Because it's a job that I can make a difference at, help others and give myself a piece of satisfaction that I am making some kind of a difference in others lives.  My son's most importantly.

He, of all people, I have tried to help the most through everything.  He is happy, healthy and aware.  He sees things for what they are. When his father tells him he'll be having him on certain days before talking with me, it doesn't surprise me he doesn't pull through with his word. Why? Because if he had spoken to me first, he knows I would hold his balls over a fire of molten lava to make sure he kept his promise.  No matter what I am doing, what I have planned, if I make a promise, I make sure to keep it!  Lessons in parenthood are as such; NEVER break your promised to your child.  The first time you do, the rest will never matter.

Later today, possibly tomorrow, I will recount my recent visit to an amusement park that, for all intensive purposes, had me reeling with anger and frustration and ready to punch the daylights out of each and every park visitor (beside those in my own party, those I was verbally assaulting). 

Welcome back to the bitchography!!

Don't forget to comment, send me a line at rachel_mae@live.com to share your stories and are interested in becoming a guest blogger, and remember, to keep those smiles on your face and say what's on your mind.  Never be afraid to say you're sorry for telling it like it is.  If the rest of the world can't handle it, they can get off the fuckin' boat.

Peace out until later, ya'll!!

Rachel