Have you ever felt like running over the people in the supermarket? More like, the old people who just think that, because they're old, they can run their carts into yours, yell at you when you're in line at the meat counter because they think they should go first even though your number is before theirs or worse is their parking lot driving.
Today, I braved the grocery store with my four year old. Usually, I go alone as I try to not involve him in this parade of stupid people showing up more and more in my town. But I had no choice, as it's the 4th of July Weekend and we needed BBQ stuff bad. I was completely surrounded by old people. Don't get me wrong, my father has entered the ranks of "old man" and able to order from the "senior" side of the menu's at local diners and restaurants, but it just seemed like I was a needle in a haystack today with my little guy. And this one woman was hellbent on getting to the front of the line, even if she showed up last. So it comes time for me to put my order in and this woman just jumps right on top of my son and starts spitting out what she wants. "excuse me" I say to her "but you just about knocked out my son to take my place in line". She looks me up and down like I'm some kind of thing she's never seen before and tells me "I'm in a hurry". Half the people back away at this point because you could see it in my face that #1: you pushed my son and #2 my eyes were on fire. I looked at her with such intensity that I don't even think my tone had to express just how angry she made me. "Isn't the whole DAMN WORLD" I said. "Evvvvvverybody's in a Fucking hurry" I put my face in her face and backed her away from the counter. "But in this world, people WAIT their turn like a good little peons. You don't touch my son. You don't touch ANYBODY's son. I am surprised with how old you are you don't have any manners or common sense. Your mother must be turning in her grave". At this point, the manager had to come out and actually asked the older woman to step aside and to leave the store so he could talk with her. Later, I learned that this hasn't been the first time she's pushed someone out of the way, the problem this time was that it was a child, MY child, and had she been younger, I would have whooped her ass. Lesson learned, even old people can be assholes.
But my tale of aggravation doesn't end there. As I am returning my cart to the caddy after putting my bags into my car and my son holding on to it's side, another old woman comes flying through the "no parking" stripes next to the caddy and almost slams into my cart and the side my son was on. I had him particularly on that side as it was on the side away from moving cars. Apparently not, as this woman thought the rules of the road did not apply to her. She hits to front end of my cart, which ends up denting her car (yeah, she was going THAT fast) and gets out of her car to yell at ME. "Watch where you are going" she yells! I'm stunned. I'm thinking "are you fucking kidding me? First the mean counter lady now you?" . Calmly I return my cart all the way, remove my cell phone from my pocket and dial 911. She's still yelling at me, asking for my insurance and telling me I will have to pay for the damages done to her car. This is laughable at this point; whoever heard of "shopping cart insurance"? "Who are you calling?" she's yelling at me as I return to my car, turn it on along with the AC and put my son into the car and sit in my drivers seat. Door open, she approaches me and keeps demanding for my insurance. As 911 takes my location and tells me an officer is on the way, I hang up and look over at her. The entire parking lot is staring at her, a younger man begins walking over to us. After taking a deep breath and telling my son "Mommy has to talk to the crazy lady, one second please honey" I gaze up at this delusional woman and calmly explain to her the heart of the situation, that she was behind the wheel of a moving vehicle and if anything is going to happen, she will walk away with a nice little "moving violation " if not "endangerment of a pedestrian" due to her illegal maneuvering of the parking lot. Still screaming at me that I am at fault, that I should watch where I am pushing my cart (where did she want me to push it, the roof?) the young man that had began walking over takes her arm. "Ma'am" he says "I saw everything. You hit this young lady and almost hurt her son. When the police come, I intend to give him exactly every harassing word you have said to this young lady and also your licence plate number, make and model of your car. In case you decide to leave, in such case this would become a 'hit and run' and thus, a felony". As the police arrive, they're almost giddy at what they hear this woman saying, just appalled at her stupidity and tell her that they should suspend her licence right then and there for her inability to recognize her responsibilities and liability in this situation. After leaving, she was still yelling at the office, and I wonder if she was taken back to the station for fingerprinting. Nice move, slick.