Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Feeling a bit at ease with things

Summer is coming to a close. The kids are back in school. It's still pretty hot out, we wont see cooler temps until about December when everybody thinks it is such a great idea to visit Disney and stock up the highways with tourist traffic. But I am feeling at ease. I thought this was suppose to be a bitch of a blog! Today, even with all the bullshit and hard knocks I've been dealing with, I actually feel like I am more honest with myself and, therefore, can be totally cool with any tricks and games people may try to play against or with me. I am just not all that interested in mind games. Never have been; I just didn't know how to deal with them. I don't play them, I've never been taught, but I know some people who have it down to a science! Really, in some ways, I wish I could do what they do; live in a world where everyone else is wrong and accountable for their actions. I could do and say what ever the fuck I want and it would always be somebody else's fault! What a great way to live!
Fuckin' A. Give me a break. Instead of being drawn into the games; business as usual, I decided I would take myself (and my family) out. And honestly, I never felt better! When I let go of all the anxiety, fear and disgust I was able to be more true to who I am as a person and operate in a more functional way. To be or not to be. Dysfunctional, that is. And I choose not to be. How about you?

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