Friday, October 15, 2010

Replace the Toilet Paper PLEASE!

Ok ladies, here we go again with our wonderful, thoughtful(less), fantastic husbands who sometimes have roadblocks in their brains when it comes to thinking outside the box. Or, in this case, the bathroom. See, we know guys don't need the paper like we ladies do. Or have to use it as often, should I say. But doesn't it piss you off when you've just finished up you duties and reach for your ever needed toilet paper and.... shit... it's not there! Now, you know when you used the pot last, there was damn well enough on the roll for five more people! So now, you're stuck... hopefully not home alone as the rolls of toilet paper are in the hallway linen closet or just out of arms reach to grab. So you now have a choice. Call for help, demoralizing yourself and asking someone to save you from this impending doom of embarrassment OR you do the pee-pee waltz. Stand up, pants around your ankles, legs apart so not to trip and waddle your way to grab yourself a new roll of toilet paper. You waddle back and finish up. Now what? Do you run out of the bathroom, gunning for your brainless husband and his inability to think that toilet paper serves TWO purposes, not just one? Or do you thinl "it's ok. He just forgot. Even if this is the umpteen time he's done this"?

How hard is it to replace a roll of toilet paper when you've used up the rest of the roll? I mean, really. It takes less than five seconds to replace it! There is no magic toilet paper replacer fairy that does it for you, as some young boys believe. No, the fairy that goes around cleaning the house, picking up toys, doing laundry and making dinner goes by the name "Mommy" and is married to the husband who forgets to replace the toilet paper. For what reasons do you not change it unless you're a really bad, disgusting janitor for a nasty restaurant who forces it's patrons to squat in really odd ways to avoid touching anything in the vicinity of the small space you are cramped into? But we're at home, not a restaurant, so there is no janitor to point the finger at and there really is no reason to bitch and complain about it. What's done it done, can we not do this again? Can you just replace the toilet paper PLEASE?!!

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