Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures

Have you ever watched someone try to eat corn on the cob with dentures? It's fuckin' hilarious! I know this is terribly mean, but the old woman at the diner was a good sport and had the ability to actually laugh at herself. This is the glory of self confidence. Even when something unimaginably embarrassing happens to you (a fall down three steps, or sometimes falling up the steps, uncontrollable farting in small areas, or a belch that sneaks up on you but could wake Elvis) you can seriously take a good laugh at your own expense. Here is the picture:

My son and I went out on a date the other night as we usually do. It is the best time I have all month and I look forward to it all the time. He chose the local diner and his usual hot dogs and french fries. I had a salad (gotta keep my girlish figure) and some soda. The older pair sitting behind my son, I could see directly. They were so cute. She in her blonde processed hair, he with hair so white you'd think he'd bleached it. They were giggling and having a wonderful time, as if they were teenagers and I overheard them talking about how each one of them had just suffered the loss of their husband/wife of over so many years and recalling the wonderful times they had together with their spouses.

My son and I were still waiting for our food to be brought to our table when the pair behind us had received theirs. The older woman had ordered corn on the cob and began chomping away. I think she had more faith in her pollygrip than the pollygrip did in her. The very first bite she took, I saw the funniest thing in my life. Her entire mouth blubbered like a goldfish kiss and out came the dentures! I am so sorry I had to laugh but I just could not contain myself! It was the most disgusting and outrageous thing I'd ever seen! And the best part? Her companion, herself and I all shared in the same laughter. The gentleman turned to me, laughing, and said to me "my sister has never been able to keep her mouth shut!" . She gracefully (or as gracefully as you possibly could in her case) put her teeth back in her mouth and said "If I had a quarter for every time that happened, I wouldn't need to bag groceries anymore!" Still laughter. My son was asking me what we were laughing at because he had his back to the pair. The older gentlemen turned to my son and said "son, make sure you take good care of your teeth. Brush twice a day!" and laughing, his sister said "my darling boy, how handsome you are!" We ended up combining tables and the four of us had a wonderful rest of the dinner together.

And the most beautiful party about all of this was that this brother and sister had been through so much. Their parents divorce, father and mother passing away, loosing children and grandchildren. They've held disagreements and arguments. But in the end, when all was said and done, they held strong to the bond that made them brother and sister to begin with. During the time I was with them, I imagined myself in their shoes. What a wonderful picture for me.

We said out goodbyes when they had finished their plates and we were halfway through ours and thanked them for letting us into their world for a moment. They walked out together and the woman helped her brother down the stairs as they walked down and out of the diner.

Through this experience, I had a rush of many emotions. Joy, laughter, happiness, sadness and loss. I enjoyed listening to their stories they told, my son was engaged with them and it was a very pleasant evening. I miss my brother very much in times like these.

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